Fingernails on the Chalk Board....the Sequel

I was reflecting on my last post.  Not sure I'll ever be comfortable with the bickering, but as I write this, my girls are playing together, having a blast and would rather do that than sort the laundry, so all is well.  Hey, maybe that's the answer!  Give them a chore as an alternative to arguing and the arguing will go away!  I'll have to remember that...

Anyway, in reflecting on my last post, it brought up a few other things that sound like fingernails on the chalk board.  I know these bug the crud out of a lot of my mom friends, so I'll list what I know.  Feel free to add your own to the list.  I know there are more.

1.  In response to being asked to pick up something that is on the floor or table or counter, "It's not mine."  This could be the very shirt off her back 15 minutes ago, but all of a sudden it belongs to her sister, so she doesn't have to pick it up.  Don't ever ever ever say this to a mom.  I spend most of my days picking up things that aren't mine.  If you're going to try that excuse, I'm the wrong person to try it on.  ***squeak*** one trip down the chalk board.

2.  "I knnnnoooowwwwww!"  Always to be followed with the huffy sigh or eye roll.  Okay, I can admit to perfecting that as a teen myself, but still....SQUEAK.  Could we not just respond with a pleasant, "Okay?" 

3.  "It's not fair!"  squeeeeeeeaaaaakkkkkk.   I have a good response to this one.  

Me:  "I hear you saying that you want everything to be fair and equal.  Is that right?"  

S:  "Yes."  

Me:  "Okay, then I'll need you to hand over your iPod touch and the cell phone."

S:  "What?!?! No!"

Me:  "Well, if you want everything to be fair and equal, that goes both ways.  K doesn't have an iPod touch or cell phone, so if it's going to be equal, then you can't have those either."

S:   stunned silence and skulking away

4.  "Do I have to?"  Really?  Do you think I would have asked you to do _______ if you didn't have to do it?  Do you think I say these things like they are negotiable or just to hear myself talk?  If I was to do it myself, I would have done it.  And, yes, you do have to do xyz activity; you made the commitment, you need to follow through unless we are talking about danger or unreasonable risk or illegal - all of which would prompt a completely different discussion. Squeak.

5.  Oh, here's a favorite:  plllleeeeaaasssseeee (with appropriate whining voice - you know the one, you used it once upon a time, too).  Begging will get you nowhere.  Have you not learned after all these years that my response to begging will always be the same?  Keep pushing and I may never consider another request you make again. Ever.  When that doesn't get it to stop, I start laughing.  It really is funny to watch her go on and on as though she will wear me down.  I guess that determination will pay off in the future.  Right now, it's just another big squeak on the chalk board.

6.  "Mom, do you know where my ________ is?"  No, darling child of mine, I have no idea.  I know I told you that I have eyes in the back of my head, but they only focus when you are misbehaving.  Try looking in all the places that _______ shouldn't be because it certainly couldn't be where it belongs.  Next time, try putting it away when you are done so you know where it is or come up with some creative anagram to remind you where it is or tie a string around your finger.  Try something, but don't ask me because I guarantee you that 99% of the time, I will not know where you put your own stuff.  Assuming you picked it up, which as we established in #1, is unlikely.

7. "Can we have a hamster?"  Let's add a giant dragging of the nails down the chalkboard for this one, not just for content, but the repetition of the question that seems to never end.  Hmmm...let me think.  No, and asking me 50,000 times probably won't change my mind.  Asking while I am standing in line for Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland with girlfriends (no kids!) is probably not a good idea.  Nor after you've forgotten to feed the cats for 2 days.  Nor when you see the cats catching birds, mice, lizards and even a squirrel.  Most of all, stop asking me over and over and over!

For the record, although my purpose is to write about what it is like to parent a special kid and an extra-special one, I know that these things are universal.  If your child is extra-special, you will appreciate that with this annoyance also comes the satisfaction of knowing that your child is moving forward in the "normal" ways, even when you kind of wish that they would skip this particular phase of "normal development."  Or maybe that's just me.

So, if you are reading this, I'd love to know what you would add to the list.  If you are a teacher, you probably could double the list just on junk your students tell you!  Give me another addition to the list.  Maybe we'll have "Fingernails on the Chalk Board 3."