Monday, June 25, 2012

Can I get a diagnosis over here?

I think I need an evaluation.  On any given day, I'm thinking about my kids roughly 19 hours of the day.  I do try to sleep for the other 5 hours.  Sometimes I even log in a solid 6 hours.  If it's been 7, I hope someone will check to make sure I am still alive.

Because I have a great mom who worries about me (a task that I'm quite sure is Chapter One in the Mommy Manual), she lovingly suggested that I take some time away.  I think she said something along the lines of, "I'm worried about you.  You need to take some time for yourself."  Subtle.  To which I think I responded with a look of total confusion and asked her to repeat herself.  Time for myself?  What is this magical thing of which you speak?

Given this amazing opportunity, I jumped at the chance.  Of course, planning such an auspicious event is almost too complicated to make it worth it.  K has started summer school which means that carpools needed to be arranged.  Both girls needed somewhere to go or something to do during the afternoon.  Lord knows I needed to do laundry.  Mapquest got a workout from me, too.  I ran out of time and left the refrigerator practically bare (sorry, Honey).

Planning was done and we set out on our 2 day adventure.  Normal people would leave their work thoughts behind by the time they hit the freeway.  I think I finally started to sort of unwind about 8 hours after we left home and into my first margarita.  

I'd like to tell you that I was able to just not think about my responsibilities for a couple of days.  I knew that all was well at home and that everything was under control and the world was not going to come to a screeching halt without me there to keep it turning.  The truth is, though, that I found it impossible to totally disconnect from my constant thoughts about my family - probably due to the fact that S kept texting me.  In the interest of full disclosure, I not only thought about, but spent a great deal of time talking about, the impending decision about K's 5th grade school year.

I keep thinking about one of the hallmarks for many kids with autism diagnoses - the extraordinary ability to have a huge wealth of knowledge about one particular subject.  Okay, yes, some describe it as a fixation.  What does that mean for me?  If there was an evaluation for parents like me, what would our diagnosis be?  Getawaybic: The phobia of being away from one's children?

There is a cure, though, I think.  One must get away more often...preferably in the company of other adults...accompanied by good food and good beverages.  When do we leave?

1 comment:

  1. Well said, if it makes you feel any better, I log in about the same time thinking of my 2. Maybe we can go out for a drink and talk about our kids!